new guest column! "Ask Miss Frigid"

Dear Miss Frigid,

My wife and I have been happily married for over 15 years.  She insists on wearing socks, long pants, a tank top, a long sleeve t-shirt, a sweater, scarf and hat to bed.  Is our love gone?

 - Concerned Husband Affected by Dress

 

Dear C.H.A.D.:

I am not certain that we have the whole story from your letter.  I am sure if you turned up the heater in the bedroom and shared your amazing body heat more, she would not need to curl up underneath the down comforter with a heating pad on her feet.  Marriage is a compromise, but it is also about keeping your wife alive.

Miss Frigid

 

Dear Miss Frigid,

I thought that I was naked under my clothes, but yesterday I discovered that I am not.  Should I be concerned?

 - Not Naked in Seattle

 

Dear Not Naked:

What you are experiencing is a side-effect of being terribly cold.  Scientists call it “long underwear” and recent studies show that if you wait until spring, this extra layer will naturally go away!

Miss Frigid

 

Dear Miss Frigid,

What is the deal with leggings?

 - People are not thinking straight

 

Dear P.A.N.T.S:

Some people cannot deal with the fact that you should wear pants when in public.  They rationalize that leggings are ok as long as you wear them with big boots.  But really, who are they kidding?  They may be comfortable, but they are really only wearing thick black tights in public - how can they not be cold?  They have no shame in showing all the lumps, bumps, and wiggles, leaving nothing to the imagination.  Just keep in mind that you are not alone in your aversion to leggings and with time this horrible, horrible phase of fashion will go away where it belongs - back on the couch.

Miss Frigid

 

What questions to you have for Miss Frigid?  Contact her with your questions below.