may you find happiness

(p.s. I was playing with a new phone app "BLEND".  I like the corny results.)
(p.p.s. These red festive shoes I recently got used.  They are from Miz Mooz.  If you are not yet aware: http://miz-mooz.com/)

The Story of Goldilocks and the Black Tights

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Goldilocks.  She went for a walk in the forest.  Pretty soon, she came upon a house.  She knocked and when no one answered, she walked right in.

In the house’s bedroom, there was a drawer full of tights.  Goldilocks was cold. She decided that she wanted to wear black tights under her dress. 

"This pair of black tights is too small!" she exclaimed.

[see exhibit A.]

So, she looked for another pair of tights in the drawer. 

"This pair of black tights is too baggy in the crotch," she said

[sorry – there will be no exhibit B]

She was disappointed that she did not have a pair of black tights that fit her just right. 

Goldilocks was very tired by this time, but she had to go to work.  So she walked through the forest to catch a bus to work.  All the while her black tights sagged and sagged.  She got to work and hiked up the tights while in the bathroom.

During her day, she worked diligently and went to the bathroom regularly to adjust her slowly sagging black tights.  She was tired but she did not fall asleep.   

As she was working, her co-workers talked to her. 

"Someone's looks nice and dressed up," said the boss.

"Someone's needs to fix this spreadsheet," growled the supervisor.

"Someone's busy and isn’t this a crazy week?" cried the co-worker.

They decided to talk to Goldilocks off and on all day.  At 4pm, she screamed, “I am out of here!” and she jumped up and ran out of work.  Goldilocks ran down the stairs, opened the door, and ran away into the forest.  And she returned to work again, but not until the next day. 

THE END

12 things of Christmas

1. The Christmas tree smells nice.  And, when you drink some red wine and play with your phone’s camera you get cool swirly photos that capture Christmas spirit.
   
2.  My “child-molester-santa ugly sweater” is aching to come out and be worn.  I am planning to wear it this week for our company holiday lunch.  It is always interesting since people do not always know how to take it – is it funny or is it a serious holiday sweater?  Perfect.
   
3.  I am finding myself a bit mellow and saddened since this is the first Christmas without both cats.  Christmas was a time where he drank out of the tree stand and ran around at the base of the tree, messing with the skirt and trying to eat the strings off the ornaments.  He was the heart of our family.
4.  I am pretty much done with shopping and crafting (paintings!)  presents which is a positive feeling.
5.  I am looking forward to some quality MN family time.
6.  I may have gone against my morals by purchasing gray leggings and gray skinny jeans from LOFT this weekend.  This store is becoming my new favorite store and they have sales that suck you in.  I must add that I was completely done with my Christmas shopping before I ventured into the store. And I also add that I promise to responsibly wear my leggings with a dress/skirt or as long underwear.
   
7.  I am totally into beads lately and I discovered that they make flexible super thin beading needles.  These guys have totally revolutionized my ability to put a stupid small bead on a stupid small thread.  Amazing technology, this.
8.  I am thinking about weeding out scarfs (scarves?) that I rarely wear.  I have this one co-worker that is very fashionable but only wears this one scarf on days that she wears a scarf.  And I wonder to myself how she has the restraint to do this and I am amazed.  Or, perhaps she is a bit boring.  Either way, I definitely have too many scarfs.
   
9.  I am also thinking about dying my hair a bit darker.  This will help to confuse my inner voice that wants to have cute short hair.  Go long!  I am in it to win it.
10. Announcement: Dansko is making super cute-ugly sneakers.  How could you not be happy when wearing a pair of these? 
    
11. Eleven reminds me of all the hobbits I saw on opening night last week at Hobbit II and the happiness I experienced when I saw Legolas once again on the big screen.  What is it about a blond wig, elf ears and mad bow and arrow skills that makes a horrible actor completely dreamy?
    
12. And, a Kris in a pair of red pants.
    

sv

You say sweater.  I say vest.   

Sweater.  Vest.  Sweater.  Vest.

down down down in the wasteland tonight

As I reflect back over the day, the BEST thing that I wore today are my horribly warm and somewhat nasty down slippers that I put on once I got home from work.  If I had a full-body suit rather than just these slippers, I would probably become a hermit and the internet would be my only form of communication since I doubt I could hold down a job and still wear it 24 hours a day, becoming known as the “crazy down-jumpsuit lady” at my local grocery store.  And, I think I would be ok with that because I would be surrounded by my own warmth like a real mammal, languishing in heat that only down can bring.

bead it

I purchased a strand of vintage wooden beads ($12 – a good deal?) from an antique store this weekend.  They are supposedly old beads that you string together for babies to chew on during that time when they did not care if young ones ate paint.  I was inspired to go to a real bead store and get options for making necklaces and bracelets from this string of beads.  This metal one really works nicely and counteracts the country-ness of the beads.  Plus, I can re-arrange.

 

A note about bead stores – never never never go into one with a friend/loved one if they themselves are not into beads.  I have learned this early in my marriage that generally your loved one does not care about beads as much as you do and you will suck their happiness out by asking their opinion on bead options. Too painful.  I now generally go into bead stores alone and this is a good thing.  And in general, people who work at bead stores are mean.  They do not like questions about how to do something or where to find something regardless of the fact that they work in a place that is surrounded by creative, fun things.  However, my experience at the bead store this weekend was pleasant and my questions did not seem to cause any horrible inconvenience to the woman working there.  I was able to stock up on a few supplies so I do not have to go back to another bead store for some time.  Phew.

new guest column! "Ask Miss Frigid"

Dear Miss Frigid,

My wife and I have been happily married for over 15 years.  She insists on wearing socks, long pants, a tank top, a long sleeve t-shirt, a sweater, scarf and hat to bed.  Is our love gone?

 - Concerned Husband Affected by Dress

 

Dear C.H.A.D.:

I am not certain that we have the whole story from your letter.  I am sure if you turned up the heater in the bedroom and shared your amazing body heat more, she would not need to curl up underneath the down comforter with a heating pad on her feet.  Marriage is a compromise, but it is also about keeping your wife alive.

Miss Frigid

 

Dear Miss Frigid,

I thought that I was naked under my clothes, but yesterday I discovered that I am not.  Should I be concerned?

 - Not Naked in Seattle

 

Dear Not Naked:

What you are experiencing is a side-effect of being terribly cold.  Scientists call it “long underwear” and recent studies show that if you wait until spring, this extra layer will naturally go away!

Miss Frigid

 

Dear Miss Frigid,

What is the deal with leggings?

 - People are not thinking straight

 

Dear P.A.N.T.S:

Some people cannot deal with the fact that you should wear pants when in public.  They rationalize that leggings are ok as long as you wear them with big boots.  But really, who are they kidding?  They may be comfortable, but they are really only wearing thick black tights in public - how can they not be cold?  They have no shame in showing all the lumps, bumps, and wiggles, leaving nothing to the imagination.  Just keep in mind that you are not alone in your aversion to leggings and with time this horrible, horrible phase of fashion will go away where it belongs - back on the couch.

Miss Frigid

 

What questions to you have for Miss Frigid?  Contact her with your questions below.

ad lib mad lib

She brushes her __(noun)__ away from her ear, checking the back of her left earring again.

She __(verb)__ her hair away from her ear, checking the back of her left earring again. 

She brushes her hair away from her ear, checking the back of her __(adjective)__earring again.  

my big tan booty

These are some fairly new boots (brand = Kork Ease) that I am enjoying.  Although they are tan, I am liking them.

She’s got booty
booty call
Shake your booty
Bootyluscious

 

 

 

 

 

 

But in my attempt to clean out what is not being used, I am getting rid of these boots.  They look sad.

Bye-bye booties!

soft to hard

I started off my Monday soft, with a flowery girly scarf that I got from Target last week. (Oh Target, why am I so easy for you?)

And, I ended my day hard(core) at the YMCA with a 3.5 mile run.  This shirt is from Quechua, which is a cheap-o outdoor brand that I happily shopped at when in Switzerland.  Go me.

swants

I saw this and I just have to share.  Even if you have no intention of making swants, the photos alone are worth your 5 minutes.  enjoy.
http://westknits.com/index.php/2013/11/swants-tutorial/

orange

This orangy dress was a Goodwill find and it is a fine corduroy and it has pockets and it is a great fall/winter dress.  There are several ways I could approach the topic of this dress and I am uncertain what angle to take on today’s post...  Here are some options:

1.  About color: I paired the dress with blue tights, a blue slip and blue shoes.  I really try hard never ever to wear black and orange.  Why?  My high school experience is over and I no longer have to show school spirit (go bears!).  However, I do feel a bit bright for a Monday morning and I sort of feel like a Denver broncos fan.

2.  About the cold:   Ok, it was 40 degrees out today and I do question my choice of covering when the top half of me got the royal treatment of a down jacket while the bottom half had just tights separating me from nature.  I did make it a goal to wear clothes that are less realistic so I guess I am succeeding in this today even if I am super duper cold.

3.  About the slip: Although I grew up with Madonna and the fact that it is ok to have your undergarments show, it feels strange to me to have my blue slip show so much.  I am working through this discomfort today.

project manager associate robot alien from space

This green button here activates my project management booster.

luster

The shoes I am wearing today I bought for a wedding this summer (see previous post: http://practicalandperfect.blogspot.com/2013/09/bridesmaid-power-activated.html).  They had to be metallic and so I picked these (rather expensive) bronze flats where I sort of used the excuse of being a bridesmaid in order to purchase.  I am finding them helpful when I have to grab a pair of shoes but I am at a loss as to what color looks best – they seem to go with most everything.  Generally I would say that you have to be very very careful with metallic shoes (old woman!), but these seem to be working for me.

And, I saw this graffiti poster on my walk to the gym the other day.  I just like how hopeful and yet defeated the little guy looks.  Exactly.

Supposedly once you go black, you never go back

Well here I am wearing black pants.  Like the promise I made to myself NEVER AGAIN get a perm, I am wearing black pants.  I am finding it a 50% bad idea whereas white pants are a 100% bad idea.  I had a mall gift certificate and I found several items at Eddie Bauer including a pair of nice black dress pants.  They already have fuzz and the inevitable cat hair on them but they look sharp with my random-Asian-polyester top that I have had for years.  Dressing up is sometimes hard to do.

knock your socks off

When weather changes and is cool and officially fall, I convert my love of being barefoot in my shoes to always wearing wool socks.  Especially knee-high ones.  I become skeptical of flip-flops.  I am wary of sandals and even flats.  Here is why: I can talk myself into going to work, leaving our bright and warm house, going out in the dark, foggy and statistically wet morning, by putting on warm socks.  That is one of the keys to winter happiness.  I am sure that another key has something to do with scarves.  These are smartwool socks and I literally could own hundreds of these and I would want more.

I have owned these socks for years and they are starting to age and thin.  I have not come to terms with what I will do when they get holey and unfixable.  I will probably cut them up and make legwarmers.  I will not be able to throw them away.  This goes back to my young childhood where my mom would decide a sock had enough and she would gleefully rip up a sock and throw it away – regardless if she had my permission!  I remember promising myself that when I was an adult, I would never do that.  And, I have not thrown away a sock since.  Hubby and I do share some active wool socks and he has been known to thin the herd, ripping up an old hiking sock on my behalf.  But, these are not my cute knee-high socks, my fun striped socks that I continually have to smash into my sock drawer in order to get it closed.

she's crafty

I tend to languish over style magazines every once in a while (purchased when I fly, or passed on to me).  Elle, Glamour, InStyle – the thicker the better.  I typically devour the pictures (colors! craziness! cost!) and then feel a bit crappy about myself afterwards (lack of beauty, glamour and money).   I rarely find something so amazing that I start doing research on how one could buy it.  But in the last several months, I have fallen for these Celine bracelets and necklaces.  But who has $600 (bracelet) or $800 (necklace) to spend on such frivolousness?

So I made some.  And spent about $8.00.  I will be the first to announce that the metal work is not ideal, but the stone is great and gives the look I was craving.  The bead is “lava rock” and the metal is some memory wire.  I put in a rudimentary clasp and viola, I saved $1392.  Crafty!

enough!

It is one thing to go to a store when you want to buy something.  But when your email inbox is full of enticing deals or the world wide web is calling your name to window shop, it is never a great situation.  Recently I cleared out and unsubscribed to Old Navy, Gap, Urban Outfitters, American Apparel, Mod Cloth, LOFT, and Zulily.

Let me tell you about the awesomeness of Zulily.  It is a daily email (and there is an app!) that brilliantly delivers a window shopping experience of good deals and a variety of things – dresses, bags, jackets, shoes.  It is more geared toward moms that are too busy to shop or cannot get out to stores easily.  I generally enjoyed going through the deals each day – as a break from work/reality.  I have purchased an owl shirt, a Halloween costume item, and now a bag and a pair of shoes (still to arrive).  All good deals, of course.

(Here is my new computer bag for work – a cute non-leather bag of turquoise color.  Amazing, right?)

I had to unsubscribe (and delete the app) from Zulily because I am too good (skills!) at finding things I adore even if I really do not need them.  I may start with the good intention of looking for a work dress or pair of dress shoes, but then I get distracted by other items I did not know I needed until I saw them.

The question begs – is this a problem.  I say yes and no.  It is a problem if:
·         You cannot afford the items you are buying
·         If you never use the items you buy
·         Or, if you are not regularly going through items that you are not using

But for me, I started to wonder, is it healthy?  I am trying to actively bring in happiness these days as I deal with grief and sadness, and stress of a newish job.  Is shopping for new shiny things bringing in this happiness?  I do get a lot of pleasure out of new clothes, costumes, shoes and bags.  And, I have a good perspective on things since they are just stuff and not really important.  That being said, I am taking a break from the online browsing/shopping for a bit and am going to stick with my Goodwill sprees. And random Zappos investigations.  And...

tiny elephant

in memory

I have a hole in my heart that will not be filled.  And, I am thankful for that.  We had Othello for over 16 years and he was noisy, brave, funny, tenacious, snuggly, annoying, friendly, whiny, and affectionate.

In the past several months I know of several people who have lost loved ones.  For some reason the chorus lyrics to a Dr. Dog keeps running through my head.  The rest of the song’s lyrics are not really applicable, but the chorus reminds me that we are not alone in our grief.

“We're all in it together now
As we all fall apart
And we're swapping little pieces
Of our broken little hearts.”

Dr. Dog in Jackie Wants a Black Eye
video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfKf7Zz5Dug

a t-shirt conspiracy

During my visit to Goodwill last weekend, I got the t-shirt (and the red cardigan sweater) I am wearing today.  It was a score since the shirt was brand-new, however, I did not know what H.A.A.R.P. stood for.  I took a risk and bought it.  So I did some research today in case I was supporting something horrible.

 

I found the t-shirt designer (http://www.paranormalapparel.com/journal/haarp/276) and the background on the image:

 “H.A.A.R.P. stands for the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program, and is not a secret or classified project. On their website it plainly states that the site is “a premier facility for the study of ionospheric physics and radio science,” but many people believe it has another purpose not so benign. Many people believe HAARP is a potential global weapon that can control the weather.”

 

Of course, I also went to Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_Frequency_Active_Auroral_Research_Program) and read more about the conspiracy theories.

“HAARP is the subject of numerous conspiracy theories. Various individuals have speculated hidden motives and capabilities to the project, and have blamed it for triggering catastrophes such as floods, droughts, hurricanes, thunderstorms, earthquakes in Iran, Pakistan, Haiti and the Philippines, major power outages, the downing of TWA Flight 800, Gulf War syndrome, and chronic fatigue syndrome.”

To my delight, one of the specific allegations included:

 “Former Governor of Minnesota and noted conspiracy theorist Jesse Ventura questioned whether the government is using the site to manipulate the weather or to bombard people with mind-controlling radio waves. An Air Force spokeswoman said Ventura made an official request to visit the research station but was rejected- ‘he and his crew showed up at HAARP anyway and were denied access.’”

So, I still on the fence if this is a t-shirt I should be seen wearing or it will become a house-shirt.  And, the moral of today’s story is that yes, one can learn from fashion.

$19.95

This is the cost of the army-green blazer I got from Goodwill over the weekend.  It is the most I have paid for one single item at a thrift store and I think that includes furniture.  Feels like it was way overpriced but it fits wonderfully (which is unusual for me and blazers), it is machine washable (I mean, who voluntarily buys dry clean only) and it is perfect for work (Anne Taylor Loft!).  The color is a bit neutral and unexciting but it has potential to match about anything and it seems great for fall.  I am wearing it today over a JCPenny shirt and with black jeans.  And, with my red nut ring.

I went to Goodwill to refresh my wardrobe for work, as well as a fun distraction.  I had time to spare and I was alone (which is essential for good thrift store shopping).  I needed the distraction from real life.  It sounds a bit materialistic and this is one of my concerns since I never want to be too wrapped up in clothes and stuff.  But, I have started to come to the conclusion that everyone has their distractions – action movies, a stupid book, a funny sitcom, delicious food, alcohol.  Comforts to pad the rough shitty edges of what you are going through.  Bringing enjoyment into your life.  And, is that so bad?

You may note by my better photos that I got a new camera/phone.  (Side note that eventually we will stop calling them phones and will call them some hybrid of face-camera-text-wiki-book.  I am still working on the name.)  Here are some fun fashion orientated apps that I have started to play with: Zulily, Zappos, Modcloth, Pose, Brit + co., Instructables, and craftgawker.  The last one being a great collection of photos showing you random crafts and projects that people have done along with instructions.  Sort of inspiring.

threesome

I am trying to enjoy the last days of summer by wearing skirts. 

Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to connect the correct skirt with the correct top. WWKD.

choose your own adventure

After waking up and showering, you head back in your bedroom to dress.  If you pull on a favorite pair of comfortable jeans, go to page 20 (“weekend”).  If you put on pink dress slacks and a new black dress shirt from Target, continue on this page.

You pack your work bag with your lunch of leftover pizza and an apple.  And, you notice a hard boiled egg from last week in the refrigerator.  If you decide to eat the egg right now,  go to page 35 (“sad cold breakfast”).  If you realize that it is way way too early to eat so you pack the egg in your bag so that you can eat at work, continue on this page.

You have 10 minutes to pack up, walk 9 blocks and catch your bus.  You heard it was supposed to rain today.  If you leave home without a jacket, go to page 12 (“denial that summer is over”).  If you put on a rain jacket, continue on this page.

Today is Thursday and you have nothing planned for this evening.  You think about your night and what you want to do.  If you decide that you are going to run after work even if it is raining, go to page 102 (“will power”).  If you think about doing the dishes and perhaps put in a load of laundry as you sit on the couch with the cats and your husband as you watch football, then you WIN!

bridesmaid power activated!

Here is 3/6 of the bridesmaids.
It was a beautiful day.
Happiness to the bride and groom!

ode to this bag

I found you
in an expensive thrift store
where name brands are pricy
even though second hand

You were made by "chocoholic"
and that is why you were cheap
duffle-bag-cuteness
of blue and red houses and trees

I know I do not need you
since I have others
but my fancy is tickled
by new things, plus

bags are useful, helpful,
holding and transporting my stuff
and, a case could be made that it is a sign of intelligence since bags set us apart from the other animals,
since only humans carry their baggage around.

shitbarf

This graffiti tag is one of my favorites and I see it each morning on my walk to work.  It is simple and to the point; And, weirdly positive for some reason.

The everyday of walking to work – the everyday of what I wear – sometimes I struggle with what to share.  It sometimes is mundane even if I am wearing items that are bright and bold.

My mind is on random things this morning – my sick cat, the swelling in my knee that is helping me to limp, the challenges of work, and thinking about my Halloween 5K run of which I will strive to create a “robot alien” outfit.  With Halloween comes Fall and with Fall comes change and the end of certain things: the end of softball, the end of going sockless and jacketless, the end of happily running outside,  the end of tuna salad.  But it is also the start of soups, football, heavier sweaters and feeling ok about sitting on the couch since it is rainy outside.